‘This river I step in, is not the river I stand in’ this might be a mistimed/perfectly timed post because I’m about to go off on myself
I have always struggled by myself with my own perfectionism. Many of you have seen this from me, if I can’t produce a perfect product, I procrastinate. Shit comes to simple things like sending a text back, an email, a comment, if it ain’t perfect I don’t do it. It’s weird cus it’s a lot good and a lot bad. It’s confusing for my friends and family to experience this. I build relationships up, in part thanks to my perfectionism of treating others perfectly. My friends know how close I am with many people, it truly is perfect. But then my own procrastination fails them, and it truly breaks my heart when I forget to text back and my friend or family thinks I hate them. A feeling of being unwanted settles in when something so perfect fails because I simply don’t reach out• Don’t get me wrong I’m always good to others, to friends, to the close ones, but I know my faults. And me and loved ones can laugh at my own faults, they’re reading this right now smiling about the times I haven’t texted back.
but what isn’t a smiling matter and the reason I post this, is how much more I can accomplish if I just strip the need to be perfect. How much better I can be to others, and to the world. I’ve taken these past few months to listen, to observe, to learn. Anyone that has seen me has felt my personality change and become more reserved. And in the next year I’ll allow myself to not be perfect, to fail and laugh about it, because that’s the space my creativity needs right now. I need the space to fail. And hopefully, the need for perfection changes to a need for progression, my procrastination gets choked by getting shit done. This river I step in, is not the river I stand in. I will progress
As always feel free to talk some shit in the comments below. Make friends in the comments section by sharing a time that I did you wrong, a time where I didn’t DM or text you back. #BellLetsTalk #Toronto